March 15, 2005

The lesson I learned today is that each of us has to juggle the person we are inside with the person we must appear to be in our work life. Each of us is balancing on our own beam and somehow touching the delicate balance beams of others. One little tip in the wrong direction and we all come crashing down.

Nothing particularly profound here, but it did remind me of how amazing the people around me really are. You see, I feel constantly out of balance. I feel like my own personal balance beam is crashing and smashing into others and upsetting all the precious equilibrium around me. Sometimes it is intentional, but often it is just a result of my own inability to find stability in daily life. Daily life is actually a little dull for me. Daily life needs to be out of balance in order for me to feel alive.

I don’t mean that there are not challenges in each day along with many satisfactions. I just need there to be something a little out of whack, something I can’t see in the corner of my eye, something on the very edge of perception that catches my attention. I just need my own balance beam to be constantly in motion.

I admire the people around me that seem so in balance and so capable of maintaining that balance day by day. I might work to tip them over, but I am always in awe of their stability.

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